Parents: Hearing About Your Past Acohol and Drug Use May Make Your Teen More Responsible About Their Own Use

Hazelden, a national nonprofit organization that helps people reclaim their lives from the disease of addiction, recently launched a campaign called “Four Generations Overcoming Addiction.” The campaign was inspired by a national survey, conducted by Ipsos Public Affairs for Hazelden, that found parents’ honesty about their own drug and alcohol use when they were young actually made the teens more responsible about their drug and alcohol use.

The survey polled 603 boys and girls aged 15-18 online and 620 parents of teenagers by telephone. Here are some of the key findings:

• Half of teens say it would make them less likely to use drugs if their parents told them about their own drug use when they were younger.
• Two-thirds of teens (67%) say their parents have already told them about their experiences with alcohol and other drugs when they were young – and these teens almost unanimously (95%) said that kind of honesty about drug use is a good thing!
• 74% of teens say they’d turn to their parents as their No. 1 source of advice about the use of alcohol or other drugs, even though 26% have seen their parents drunk or high on alcohol or drugs.
• Teens who are aware of their parents’ experiences with alcohol or other drugs as teenagers are nearly as likely as those who are not to consider their parents to be role models (90% vs. 93%).

Looking at some of the gender differences in the survey, it was interesting to find that:

• Teenage girls are more likely than teenage boys to wish their parents would share information about their past alcohol or drug use (74% vs. 61%).
• Parents of a teenage daughter are more likely to say that they had this discussion because their child asked them about their past alcohol or drug use (48% vs. 31%), while parents of a teenage son are more likely to say that they just brought it up on their own without prompting (82% vs. 71%).
• Dads are more likely than moms to have spoken with their teenage child on their own initiative without prompting (82% vs. 70%), while moms are more likely than dads to say they were motivated to have a conversation on this topic because a friend or family member had experienced problems with alcohol or drugs (51% vs. 34%).

Brenda Iliff, clinical director of Hazelden’s Women’s Recovery Center, wasn’t too surprised by the differences that came out. Says Iliff, “Women more wired for communication and connection.” That may explain why the girls bring the subject up more than boys and why mothers relate the conversation to other experiences rather than just bringing the topic up without prompting. Iliff also pointed out the shame that women have when it comes to addiction. The stigma attached to women abusing drugs and alcohol may prevent a mom from simply bringing the topic up, while dads might not think twice about it.

When asked what advice she would give to mothers who are also in recovery regarding talking to their kids about their past use, Iliff suggests starting the conversation when they’re young and keeping the conversation going. “Timing is important,” she stresses. “Share information when it is helpful, not just when you get the urge.” For many, these conversations are a part of their own recovery.

So, what’s the message here? Talk to your kids about your past experiences with drugs and/or alcohol. They look to you as a role model and will appreciate your honesty! And don’t be afraid to bring the subject up with your daughter. If she hasn’t brought it up yet, she might be thinking about it.

Hazelden’s “Four Generations Overcoming Addiction” campaign, which also coincides with Hazelden’s 60th anniversary, features a “Four Generations Overcoming Addiction” website offering free videos and conversation guides about drug use and abuse, addiction treatment and recovery; an online library of podcasts featuring personal accounts from four generations of Hazelden alumni, talking about their experiences with addiction and recovery; and Hazelden’s first-ever Recovery Resources Blog, an online home base for news about addiction and recovery.

technorati tags: Four Generations Overcoming Addiction, Hazelden, Teens, Alcohol, Drugs, Parenting

Women in Recovery Make Strong Connections on Annual Sail

On September 16th, 38 Crossroads for Women clients, alumnae and staff set sail on a 74-foot Maine built windjammer named Frances. This is the 5th year that Maine Sailing Adventures generously hosted the sunset sail on the beautiful waters of Casco Bay.

Each year, the halfway house plans the trip and invites other clients from the agency, staff, former clients and their own family and friends. After the sail, they shared their thoughts on the experience of the sail and what it meant to them.

Most all of the halfway house clients said the trip was relaxing and a great way to connect with other women. Many noted that it was a good example of how to have “sober fun,” something that one woman said she never knew could be possible until coming into treatment.

The sail was also a good bonding experience for everyone who attended. There were opportunities to work together to lift sails up and help the crew. Some of the women in treatment brought their moms on the cruise. While they may still be working on mending relationships, those clients said it was helpful for their mothers to see other women that are going through the same thing they are going through.

Clients were especially grateful to have the chance to spend time with former Crossroads clients. Seeing alumnae gave them hope that they could maintain their sobriety after treatment and lead a healthy lifestyle. They noted that those former clients didn’t have to be there. They were there because they wanted to be there. And they even shared their own experiences with treatment and recovery.

Personal connections are so important for women, which is why part of Crossroads for Women’s treatment philosophy focuses on positive relationships, and a sail like this is much more than just a fun thing to do on a September evening.

Women’s problems with addiction different from men’s | Portland Press Herald

Polly Haight Frawley, Crossroads for Women’s chief of operations, wrote an article for the Portland Press Herald’s Maine Voices editorial section in response to a quote in a past article about the Diane Schuler tragedy. As the title suggests, it addresses the differences between men and women when it comes to addiction. It was published on August 15, 2009. Click on the link below to read the article.

Women’s problems with addiction different from men’s | Portland Press Herald

Or, read it on Crossroads for Women’s website.

3 Things to Take Away from the Tragedies of Schuler, Jackson and Mays

There has been a lot of media coverage lately around the tragic deaths of Long Island mom Diane Schuler, pop star Michael Jackson and pitchman Billy Mays. All of the stories include allegations of alcohol and / or drug abuse or misuse. All include real people whose lives were taken too soon. And all of the stories leave mourning families with a whole lot of questions. So, what can we take away from these tragic stories?

1. Addicted women need to be able to come out of hiding to get the treatment they need without the fear that society will reject them. 92% of women do not receive needed treatment for alcohol and drug problems. The intense shame and guilt that women experience, especially mothers, when they are abusing drugs or alcohol keeps women from seeking treatment for their problem. Even in the most modern families, women are most often the caretakers of the family. Who will take over the role when mom has to take a break to seek the help she needs? When faced with the choice of seeking help for their problem or taking care of their kids and family, they’ll almost always choose the kids. Studies have shown that children typically learn of their father’s alcoholism when they are about 12.6 years of age, while they don’t learn of their mother’s alcoholism until 18.3. Schuler was allegedly under the influence of alcohol and marijuana when she drove the wrong way down the Taconic State Parkway in New York when she hit a car head on, killing 8 people, including herself, her 2-year old daughter and 3 young nieces. Her family says they never saw her drunk.

2. We need to pay attention to the rise in prescription drug abuse in America. Prescription drugs, or the mixture of prescription drugs with other drugs or alcohol, may have contributed to both Jackson and Mays’ deaths. Federal data shows nearly 7 million Americans abused prescription drugs in 2007, up 80% since 2000. According to the Partnership Attitude Tracking Study (PATS), nearly one in five (an estimated 4.7 million) teens have ever abused prescription drugs. Prescription drugs were second only to marijuana for those 7th – 12th graders reporting to ever trying drugs in 2008. Most teens get their prescription drugs straight from their family’s medicine cabinet and think it is safe because it comes from a doctor. Doctor shopping, and even dentist shopping, has become popular.

3. We need to talk to each other about our experiences with addiction, whether it is through our own past abuses or through dealing with a friend of family member’s addiction. When someone is diagnosed with asthma or diabetes, they consult doctors and specialists, learn about their disease and treatments, maybe even make some lifestyle changes. Chances are, the person hears other people’s stories about their bouts with the same disease and how they handled it. They talk about it, and they deal with it. Think about it. Most people could probably name a cancer center near them, but how many could name a substance abuse treatment center in the same area? How many Mainers know about Crossroads for Women? While treatment and support options for drug and alcohol are lacking in many communities, they do exist. You don’t read about addiction research as much as you do about asthma or diabetes or cancer. Even those that conquer addiction and find recovery often don’t talk about their past for fear that they will be unfairly judged.

Addiction is a disease that needs to be addressed and treated. It is a disease that can tear apart families and ruin lives, yet it’s still something we are too ashamed to talk about. What would happen if we did?

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technorati tags: Diane Schuler, Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, substance abuse, addiction, treatment